So tomorrow marks the start of the ‘Lean in 15’ diet… or lifestyle choice, or whatever wonderfully hipster-childish phrase Joe Wicks has come up with to make the whole thing sound more enjoyable than it actually is. I say this, because as a fully-grown man, he refers to broccoli as ‘midget trees’, not just in speech and awkward This Morning cooking sessions, but in actual print, in the recipe book which has fast-tracked him to millionaire status.
It’s worth pointing out now, too, for those who stumble upon this and don’t know me, I’m a sarcastic and overly descriptive kind of person… with an odd sense of humour. Everything’s tongue-in-cheek, and all my own opinion – I haven’t got time for fan girls of Wicks or 90SSS graduates (interesting term, that) that don’t like my frank honesty, or poking-fun- at-the-whole-thing-thing going on. This is the internet, we can all have opinions, and we’re all adult enough to respect them and behave civilly. Let’s keep this sweet, people.
Now, on with why I’m doing this. Or rather, why I have to do this.
My partner and I thought it’d be a good idea to try this diet/lifestyle choice/food-revolution because we can both do with losing a couple of pounds, and getting in shape. We’re both enormous foodies, him more than I, and whilst we aren’t health-threateningly overweight, we could do with trimming down and implementing fitness and a more varied diet into our lives.
So, what are we doing? Well, thanks to my mother, and her being drawn into the Wicksy whirlwind thanks to daytime TV, we have found ourselves with his first
money-printer recipe book – ‘Lean in 15 – The Shift Plan’. This book represents the first 30 days of his 90 day shift, shape and sustain plan, which he offers through a subscription-based service on his website (which has a whole load more benefits etc.) The other two books are due out in June and December, and they fall in line with the other two phases.
You may ask why we didn’t sign up to his subscription plan, and that’s simply because we didn’t want to. Or at least, we didn’t want to right now. We’re both determined to make this work ourselves, and the plan is remarkably simple – providing it’s not a ‘free-to-play’ version in the book – and we’re doing it together, so motivation is pretty much guaranteed.
We’ve also decided for our first week, to not go to the gym. This is partly a lifestyle decision – he starts his new job on Monday, we don’t know the area, our overlapping schedules and we don’t even have a gym membership – and a food decision: eating non-breakfast items for breakfast is wrong and I’m not ready to jump straight into that just yet.
So we’ve done our food shop (£90 later, with nothing to show for it other than striking evidence healthy eating isn’t as accessible as it should be, and a level of self-hate for spending that much on food for two people – trust me, this level of consumerism is disgusting but we’re doing this properly) and have planned our meals, so all we need now is Monday to roll around and we get started.
I’m not going to lie, tonight we had antipasti with cheese and prosecco, and a wonderful baguette and selection of meat. I think it’s justified as flicking through his recipe book, food is going to get a hell of a lot less enjoyable over the next month… and I want to remember what food is supposed to taste like.