“You know when you just know? Yeah, that.”

It has been exactly 4 weeks since I turned my back on him at the airport. I was good too, I didn’t look back.

The past month has been surprisingly… easy. I feel almost concerned I am not as downtrodden and upset as I expected myself to be. Even he, I feel, is surprised at how easy an adjustment it has been. I suppose love is love though, right?

The physicality of our relationship has obviously been the hardest to deal with. The lack of touch, and making home. Of having our own physical space to call our own and be in each others company in. No other factors to have to worry and mould around. It is fine though, really. 

We have created our very own digital environment – a safe haven between us two that only we can access. I don’t want this post to seem as though I’m advertising – it invariably will now, I’ve said that – but the Couple app, on iOS at least, is extraordinary. Any relationship, close quarters or long distance, could benefit from adopting it.

The days I miss him are extremely tough, however. I won’t lie. Those are when it becomes evident he is nowhere near me when I need him. I tackle these days with rationality, as is needed. I can wallow and be needy, or suck it up and get on with it. This is the situation we are in, and we want to be with one another – this, what we are doing now, is all we can do. And it works. 

Admittedly I go for a 50/50 approach, being needy and then coming to my senses. I’ve learnt to play this rather cool, I must say. I’m human, after all.

We have done 4 weeks apart, and have 10 left to go. 10 weeks until he is permenantly back, and we can readjust our lives once again to work around what we have. That’s 70 days.

I will be seeing him in 3 weeks time, when he comes to visit. A long weekend in which he will be meeting my family. I am equal parts excitement and nerves, already. This is a big step, a huge one, and one I have been told is possibly occurring too soon. I disagree. It is a needed one. I want him to feel as though he is a part of my family, and to feel accepted completely in my life. For them, my family, it so they realise exactly how important he is to me.

We have been together for 55 days now, along with the time we spent which went without label. 28 days so far have been spent apart. Our official relationship has been over 50% not seeing each other.

My love for him hasn’t even waivered. It’s not faltered, not even once.

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