There is a valid reason why this post has found itself online at 4am on a Sunday morning, and why I have updated so soon since the last posting.
The man who I was gearing myself up to walk away from, has told me he loves me.
Before even I could really say what I needed to, he has told me he’s fallen in love with me.
And I am in love with him. The man who I knew from the start, I needed in my life. The one who forced me into a difficult situation. I am completely in love.
I cannot help but be weary as to what he potentially could do to me. He has treated me how he has for so long, it forced me to reconsider even allowing myself to be around him. I cannot shake the doubt I have, not yet, at least.
He has fallen in love with me, and has opened up to me. His protecting of his own interests and feelings meant I had to suffer and be hurt. He was trying to put me off him. Can I be upset by him ultimately putting my interests first? Or just the way at which he tried to achieve it?
I wish he had tried a different tact. It leaves me uneasy knowing he can act so cold when really, he cares deeply. Do I need that in my life? It’s reminiscent of the last time I felt like this. Then, however, I was convinced I was in love. Now, I know I am. This is love.
He lays asleep beside me, I can feel his warmth and hear his breath. The man I love lays beside me, and I feel my body glow with happiness as I watch him. This is that Stardust moment I always wanted. I’ve found it.
We have a few weeks left together, before our life here is over. I hope it’s just the closing of this chapter, and not the ending of our story.
I’ve found the man who I want to share the rest of my life with.